She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
