yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
