Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
People in love make me want to vomit
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
