My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize