I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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