She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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