she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it was like eating out sand paper
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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