Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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