I puked a lego.
handjob tips. give me some.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
