Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
