forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
