if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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