the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Blood and glitter go together right?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
