The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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