the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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