That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
