His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
