holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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