Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
