I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
