Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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