what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
