Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did i walk over a car last night?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
