is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
