I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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