A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
