Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
