How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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