i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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