he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
