Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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