either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize