I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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