I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
