Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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