I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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