did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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