This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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