you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
