Don't make out with my wife yet
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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