I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And then he peed in my hair
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