Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
