From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
