he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
