She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
