He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
