Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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