I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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