Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can I color on your dick again?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
