it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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